Features Archive | 2/12/2013
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How to Irritate a Barbarian
Appendix d12
By Jason Sholtis

With the release of the premium edition of AD&D's Unearthed Arcana, we take a look back at the classes presented in the book—the barbarian, cavalier, and split-class thief-acrobat!

To help DMs add further detail to their adventures, Jason Sholtis (of The Dungeon Dozen) has provided the following tables—in the spirit of the 1st Edition DMG’s appendices, charts, and random encounters!

How to Irritate a Barbarian

This table provides more fodder for individualizing your wilderness-born warrior PCs and NPCs, this time with special circumstances that might provoke suddenly explosive responses from the unlettered lugs.

d12

  1. Bared teeth, friendly smiles included, indicate a challenge.

  2. Failure by strangers to indicate intentions while still at safe distance: automatically interpreted as hostile.

  3. Attempting to disarm or making suggestions of any kind regarding the barbarian’s personal armaments.

  4. Prolonged eye contact: rapidly becomes staring contest with high stakes.

  5. Making remarks that could be interpreted as condescension.

  6. Behaving in an openly foppish or overly sophisticated fashion, especially the over-application of cologne.

  7. Rough handling of any kind without prior consent.

  8. Approaching the barbarian with drawn weapons, regardless of stated aims.

  9. Demonstrating superior physical strength provokes challenge to honor.

  10. Any insinuation that might impugn the purity of the wilderness lifestyle.

  11. Suggesting a bath or alteration of customary attire.

  12. Asking the barbarian to read or sign any document.

About the Author

Jason Sholtis serves humanity by day as a humble social services worker but keeps evenings free for self-indulgences such as writing, drawing and playing in rock bands. D&D occupies a special place in his heart. His semi-daily blog The Dungeon Dozen focuses exclusively on random tables for the twelve-sided die.

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