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First Impression
Confessions of a Full-Time Wizard
By Shelly Mazzanoble

“Back in my day I actually had to get up to change the TV channel,” I said. “What a pain that was.”

“Back in my day I had to actually push a vacuum around the floor,” Laura said. “Can you imagine life before Roomba?”

“Back in my day, I had to roll up a D&D character with a pencil and paper,” Chuck said, pressing pause on his iPod Shuffle. “And do my own math.”

“Ew!” I said. “How old are you?”

“We didn’t have Dungeon Tiles, so we had to draw our maps on graph paper,” Chris said. “That is, if we bothered using a map.”

“But how did you know where you were?” I asked.

“The DM told you,” Chuck said.

“Haven’t you ever heard of show, don’t tell?” I asked.

“I like seeing where my mini is on a map. You know, just in case there’s a well I decide to shift down into.”

“Oh, we didn’t use minis,” Chuck said. “At least not as tactically as we do today.”

“And as your current Dungeon Master, I can assure you,” Chris added, “that seeing the well won’t prevent you from falling in it. I’m just saying.”

This was crazy talk. Kind of like Grandpa walking all those miles to school in the snow.

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About the Author

There’s a 75% chance that Shelly Mazzanoble turned this column in on time, an 85% chance next month’s will be later, and a 95% chance that she is all caught up on The Real Housewives of New York.